Sorry Isn't Enough
by Mockingjay Rose
Summary: Ten years later, Namimori Middle School is holding a class reunion. A lone brunet walks into the classroom, heavy with secrets. No one knows he is the Vongola Decimo who had run away after his Guardians were murdered in a vicious mafia war. At the reunion, Sawada Tsunayoshi hopes to remember what had happened to his Family...and also to forget it all. TRAGIC!REUNION FIC


**A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you had a great Christmas, even though FFN decided to have server failures. I'm back in the KHR fandom for the time being, after my long hiatus. Anyway, please enjoy this story! Get your tissues out, hmm?**

**This is a gift-fic for Sodai no Ozora. XD Thank you _WhiteAngel128_ for beta-reading!**

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**SORRY ISN'T ENOUGH**

Ten years later, a lone man strides into the classroom, his long brown bangs hanging down his face. His shivering arms hold onto his thick coat, as if the fabric would keep him invisible. Keeping his eyes to himself, he takes another step, then another, until he has merged in with the crowd of excited adults.

Finally, he straightens up and takes in the musty smell of the carpet, along with the achingly familiar stench of cigarette smoke. He wrinkles his nose and coughs. He also inhales the cheap wine a fellow ex-classmate had brought, as well as the clashing perfumes of the women around him. The brunet recognises a few faces, but many others havechanged too much over the past decade.

"Oh, how nostalgic!" a woman cries out behind him. "I used to sit here, Daigoro-kun!" She points towards a desk in the corner of the room while clinging onto a short man's arm, overwhelmed by the familiar yet unfamiliar place. The brunet turns around and sees a pretty face he may have seen in a foreign magazine. He doesn't really remember her, though – she was probably one of the girls who had giggled whenever he was bullied during his school years.

He remembers Ooyama Daigoro, however, and is mildly surprised that he had won the pretty woman's hand. The nasty person from his adolescence has turned into someone more respectful over the years. His neat suit and good manners contradict his past self, who had challenged a weaker opponent because he wanted the class idol – _Kyoko-chan_, the brunet's mind supplies – to be the karate club's manager. He used to be as bad as Mochida-senpai.

The brunet's lips curl into a faint smile when he imagines what had happened to the black-haired bully. He had read in the newspaper five years ago that he was arrested for taking part in underground activities. Drug dealing, to be specific. The brunet wasn't very surprised and pitied him a little.

_That could have been me_, he thinks, _I could have – should have – been locked away years ago. I deserve to spend the rest of my life in Vendicare. _

No one sees his broken expression, nor the moisture at the corner of his eyes. In this classroom, he is invisible.

"_An ironic thing for a mafia boss, eh?" a blond man says with an emotionless laugh. "Who would've imagined that the Vongola Decimo would lose everything after one mistake? His honour, his Guardians, his Family...what happened to them?"_

"_Dino-san, I-"_

_The Cavallone Decimo turns away, his eyes cold. "You don't need to say anything. We believed in you, Tsunayoshi. That's all there is to say."_

"Everyone!" a woman carrying a baby happily interrupts. "Do you remember Nezu-sensei? He was the teacher who had claimed to be a top student at Tokyo University!"

The ex-students, excluding the brunet, are united by laughter. Familiarity reflects from their delighted eyes. "I remember!" They reply in chorus. Heads scan around for the old man, but he is not present.

"Ah, our dear Nezu-sensei passed away from cancer last year. My parents were quite close to his son."

"That's terrible, Arikawa-san! And Nezu-sensei had children?"

"A son and a daughter. One's a doctor and one's a teacher, actually."

"_I've always wanted to be a doctor," the silver-haired man admits after several glasses of wine. "Or a pianist like my mother. I've always watched that pervert Shamal save lives, and sometimes the melodies my mother used to play remind me that I'm alive."_

"_Is that so, Hayato?" The brunet seated across him yawns and signs another document. He eyes the accumulating pile of paperwork, mentally willing them to disappear._

"_Yeah," Hayato continues. "I admire them very much. But I still admire you the most, Juudaime!"_

"_That's...nice to know." But the Vongola Boss is no longer listening. He signs one more document and passes out on his desk. He hasn't slept for days._

Before he is even aware of it, the brunet has stopped in front of a desk. The desk, which is situated near the front of the room, is still as old as the one he remembers from his school days. It is the same model, but has been replaced recently, as indicated by the lack of familiar graffiti inscribed onto its yellowing surface.

With his hands in his pockets, the brunet kicks the desk over.

"Um...are you alright?" Arikawa asks, helping him set the table back up. She looks into the man's brown eyes with curiosity. "Forgive me if I don't recognise you...Were you in our class ten years ago?"

The brunet looks at her and tries to smile. "I was," he replies.

"You do look familiar. Hey Nakamura-san, do you remember this young man?"

"He's quite intimidating and mysterious..." the person beside her murmurs. "I don't remember anyone like him in our class."

"Oh!" another voice cuts in. "Wasn't that the desk Gokudera-san knocked over on his first day? This surely brings back memories!"

_Gokudera...Gokudera Hayato..._Why is that name so painful to hear?

"_I'm home," a weak voice whispers. "I'm finally home, Juudaime."_

_The brunet is signing another pile of documents when the silver-haired man limps into his office. "Welcome home, Hayato," he greets with a nod. "How have you been?" _

_The other man smiles as if his world has lit up, ignoring the stinging sensation as he stretches his lips. "I've been...I've really missed you, Juudaime," he chokes and blood immediately stains his hand. He quickly wipes it onto his black suit, not wanting the brunet to worry, before lighting a cigarette with an unstable hand. He coughs and takes a deep drag. "Every moment I was gone...the thought of you kept me going."_

_His Boss stops writing and looks at his right-hand man for the first time in weeks. His eyes widen in horror as he takes in the other man's pale face, coloured by bruises and framed by drying blood. "H-Hayato, you-"_

"_It's okay, Juudaime," Hayato reassures him. "I'll never betray you to the enemy, even if I must die."_

_His Boss is crying, but does not reach out to touch his best friend. "Don't say that, Hayato! We'll get through this! All of us! We're family!"_

"_Juudaime..."_

_He doesn't see the man enter his office, nor does he see the gun through his tears. Repeated grief had suppressed his Hyper Intuition long ago. But his faithful right-hand man sees and predicts it all. In that split second, the brunet is pushed down, shielded by Hayato's body. The enemy shoots not once, not twice, but continuously until his gun chamber is empty._

_Hayato screams as each bullet pierces through his vital organs and bones, unable to contain his pain. After being tortured by the enemy for weeks, he has finally returned home...and to his end. But he cannot imagine a better ending._

_The brunet is calling his name from beneath. When he gazes into his Storm Guardian's eyes, he sees the man smiling as if nothing tragic has happened._

"_It's okay, J-Juudaime," the silver-haired man breaths. "I-It's okay..." he closes his stormy grey eyes and exhales shakily. "We'll watch the fireworks together again, right Juudaime? Like...always..."_

_But his Boss doesn't answer his dying words. He already has his flaming gloves on the enemy's neck, burning his flesh, fuelled by the desire for revenge. "I'm sorry, Hayato," he repeats over and over. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_

"Hayato," the brunet says under his breath. "Hayato kicked over this desk on his first day."

Arikawa's eyes widen. "H-Hayato?" she stammers at his familiarity with the silver-haired male. "Don't tell me...are you Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

"Dame-Tsuna?! My, you've grown taller!"

"What about Gokudera-san and Yamamoto-san? Will they be attending this reunion?"

"I was looking forward to seeing them. They must be gorgeous after ten years!"

"Calm down, Maeda-chan. You're married."

The brunet is shaking once again, his white hands clutching his coat. "Y-Yamamoto...Yamamoto Takeshi..."

"I wonder what he does for a living now," Maeda continues. "He was our school's baseball star, but I haven't seen him in any of my husband's sports magazines. Did he quit baseball after he attempted suicide?"

"He moved to Italy with Gokudera-san, I think," Arikawa adds. "I can't remember all the details, though. But I know the two boys were really close to Sawada-san."

"Ah...I wonder if Yamamoto-san is still single. I've always loved him..."

"_What does it feel like to fall in love, Tsuna?" the former baseball star asks, throwing his head back to admire the sky. "It must be a wonderful feeling..."_

_Beside him, his Boss is lying on the grass with a faint smile on his lips. "Yeah," he answers. "It should be. But if you're looking for love advice, Lambo knows much more than me."_

_Takeshi chuckles, glancing at the fifteen years old Lightning Guardian chasing after two girls without a worry in the world. He feels sorrow for the child who had been forced through battle after battle at such a young age. He remembers how Lambo had almost lost his life when he fought Levi of the Varia for the Lightning Vongola Ring at the age of five._

"_Yeah, I suppose that's true...So how are things going between you and Kyoko-chan?"_

_Tsuna closes his eyes and sighs. "She's changed so much after onii-chan's death. I haven't seen her in a month."_

"_Death does change people."_

_The brunet sits up, worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry about your father, Takeshi." _

"_It couldn't be helped. I'm just glad you're alive and safe," Takeshi's dark eyes are sad, but he still smiles cheerfully. "Oh look! A butterfly! It's pretty isn't it, Tsuna? Today's such a beautiful day!"_

_Tsuna nods. He has spent too many days behind his desk, going through paperwork. He has almost forgotten the simple pleasures outside his office. _

"_So Tsuna...I was just thinking about that meeting I'm attending tonight..."_

"_The Millefiore Family? They'd be a valuable ally to the Vongola. We've been long allies with the Giglio Nero Family, a counterpart of the Millefiore. Everything should work out. Make sure Lambo stays in line, too, will you? He's not very experienced in Family negotiations."_

_Takeshi sighs and looks away. "I guess. Sure. Everything should work out," he isn't convinced by his Boss' reassuring smile, but accepts it nonetheless. "We trust your judgement, Tsuna."_

_The brunet nods again and wipes moisture from his eyes. "I'm sorry for burdening you like this, Takeshi. But things will work out in the end, I promise. We'll find you a lover. You'll know what love feels like then."_

_His Rain Guardian's forced smile and his Lightning Guardian's yawn are Tsuna's final memories of the two. _

"Sawada-san, are you alright?"

"He became like that when we mentioned Gokudera-san and Yamamoto-san."

Someone gives a light chuckle without malice. "I guess he's still Dame-Tsuna after all, haha, easily scared. Old habits die hard."

Tsuna opens his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Sorry," he says quickly. "I remembered something."

But his ex-classmates have already moved on, now engaging themselves in light conversation about their current occupations. Tsuna sits on the desk and listens. If Reborn and Vongola Nono hadn't forced him to be the next Boss of the largest mafia Family, he could have had a normal, safe life. He could have been _free_.

"I'm a model in South Korea," the woman with the pretty face tells everyone. "I'm not very well-known, but I've been featured in several magazines throughout Asia."

Arikawa claps her hands in admiration. "Wow, that's really amazing, Kazumi-chan! I always knew you'd be a model!" she exclaims. "I'm only a librarian and my husband is a policeman. We live modest lives in Namimori."

"I'm still studying at university," Nakamura says, scratching his head nervously. "I want to become a doctor. The course is very difficult and tiring, but I won't give up!"

"That's a good attitude, Nakamura-san. My older brother just graduated last year. He's working in a hospital now."

"What's your current occupation, Sasaki-san?"

"I'm a journalist," the other man replied. "My girlfriend is also a writer."

Maeda leans forward and covers her mouth with her hand. "You're Sasaki Daisuke, right? I read your opinion section in the newspaper on the train home every week! I remember you wrote an article about Hibari-san and his terrifying rule at this school!"

"Ah," the man blushes. He thanks her and then offers to refill the empty wineglasses.

"Speaking of our infamous prefect, where's Hibari-san? I haven't seen him at all." Maeda questions, after sipping her wine.

"Oh, _him_! He used to beat up all the late students!" the man beside her exclaims. "I can't believe that he's the one late today!"

"Hibari Kyouya, I'll bite you to death!" Sasaki adds in jokingly. "He used to always march into this classroom and beat up Dame-Tsuna, haha."

Arikawa is deep in thought. "I wonder what his relationship to Sawada-san was. He seemed to be on alright terms with Gokudera-san and Yamamoto-san as well. Oh, and Kyoko-chan's brother, too!"

"Didn't Sawada-san confess to Kyoko-chan naked? And Mochida-senpai challenged him to a kendo duel."

"I remember that!" laughs Kazumi. "It was so embarrassing to watch! And then Hibari broke up the crowd."

Tsuna, who was keeping to himself, freezes again. Hibari. Why is that name so bitterly familiar?

_Hibari. _

_Tsuna almost passes him for another man – another dying soldier in a sea of red corpses- as he trips and rolls on top of a black carpet of suits. He is about to stand up and run, but a strong hand grips his wrist, pulling him down onto his knees. "H-Herbivore."_

_The brunet sees the Vongola crest stitched onto the dying man's clothes. "I'm sorry, sir, you've been very brave. But I have to-" he gently pries his arm free, ignoring the fresh blood of the dead seeping into his clothes. He knows crimson doesn't show on black easily, but the thought of someone's life draining onto his skin sickens him. _

"_Herbivore. Look at me."_

_A pair of large brown eyes slowly meets the dying man's steel blue ones. "H-Hibari-san?" He whispers with uncertainty. But surely it cannot be his strongest Guardian – he believes in the raven-haired man and knows that he's invincible. Hibari is the one who had single-handedly defeated 500 ice warriors and saved the lives of thousands. Hibari is the one who had stood by his side when he had made that careless mistake and almost got captured by the Vindice – _

_He was _Hibari Kyouya_. The man who bit every enemy to death with his twin tonfas._

_Tsuna lifts his hand to brush the strands of hair away from the man's face, but is unable to move more than an inch. Self-hatred boils in his stomach, then pain. Why is he denying Hibari's presence? "I'm sorry, I-"_

"_These lives," the raven-haired man hisses, his eyes burning with intensity. "Make them count. Don't let them die in vain."He leans forward and coughs. Tsuna cannot tell whether the blood belongs to the man or the men he killed. _

"_Hibari-san...I..."_

"_Don't forget them."_

_The brunet manages a nod and stands, trying to ignore the horrifying squelch of blood underneath his legs. Without another word, he leaves his Cloud Guardian to die._

"That damn prefect used to always beat me and my friends up. too, you know! Not just Dame-Tsuna!"

"It's your fault for being late every day, Kentaro." His wife scolds.

"But that bastard! I never got back at him!"

They laugh again, lost in their memories. "I'd like to see him again, though. He was really dark and handsome back then, but he didn't have a girlfriend because he was too scary."

"I wonder what he does now," Kazumi says. Seeing Tsuna, she calls out, "Sawada-san, what do you do for a living?"

Ten years ago, the class would have erupted into laughter, not believing that their class's weakest student would ever succeed in the outside world. A decade has matured them, however, and now they wait patiently, pleasant smiles on their faces.

Tsuna twitches at the sudden attention and looks down at his hands. During those ten years, he'd become rich. Very rich. Extremely rich. He had power, he had influence, and he had a loyal Family. He had everything the world could offer, until the Millefiore Family had risen to rival the Vongola Family. Then...

"I was..." he whispers, and then corrects himself, "I am...a monster."

"_You've become quite the monster, Tsunayoshi-kun."_

"_Please don't say that, Mukuro. I know it's my fault, but I-"_

_His blue-haired Mist Guardian turns away and laughs humourlessly. "My sweet Chrome is dying now, do you know that? She's in the middle of a battlefield. Ryohei is trying to heal her wounds, but he's uncovered. Their lives are depending on my illusions and the enemy's common sense!"_

"_You can do it, Mukuro. Only you can help them."_

_Mukuro tightens his grip on his trident and grits his teeth. "We've been fighting for weeks, Vongola Decimo. All you've been doing is signing paperwork and attending meetings. Do you ever think about those who work below you, expecting nothing in return?"_

_Tsuna blinks at the older man. "Those meetings," he says slowly, "are important. We need allies, Mukuro, or else we cannot win."_

"_You lead the _Vongola_ Family, do you not?" a crimson pool on his chest suddenly expands and Mukuro winces. "You should already know that some things aren't worth fighting for!" He chokes on his blood for a moment. His Mist Flames are running out._

_The brunet extends his hand to offer Mukuro his own Flames, but the blue-haired man waves it away. "After this fight, you won't see me again. I see no reason for Chrome and I to stand by your side," he pauses for a brief moment and laughs. "Kufufufu...Without Reborn aiming a gun at your head, you're really nothing special, Tsunayoshi-kun. You're just another one of those mafia monsters. Why...Why was I so interested in possessing you...all those years ago?"_

"_I'm sorry. But you see-"_

"_No." Mukuro staggers and takes a shaky breath. Then, he falls unconscious, and his grip on his silver trident slacks._

"_Mukuro! Chrome! Onii-chan!" Tsuna cries, running over and repeating their names over and over again. He holds onto the older man's wrist, feeling his faint pulse. Without his illusions, Mukuro is completely vulnerable, a side the brunet has never wanted to ever witness. He sees those gruesome scars from the man's childhood and the wounds from his recent fights. He sees _Hell_. _

_With his Mist Guardian in his hands, he could only whisper to himself, "I'm...a monster."_

"There's something strange about Sawada-san. Is he ill?"

Using that as an excuse, the brunet fakes a smile and nods. "Please excuse me. I don't feel well today. I hope we'll meet again." With a bow, he then runs out of the room, willing his coat to hide his body once more. His hands are shaking again. He hunches forward, burying his head in his chest.

He doesn't want to remember anymore. He wants to forget about the mafia wars, the corruption, the deaths, the _terror_ –

His eyes catch a flicker of orange on his right. He sees a woman in a designer trench coat with matching high heels. She has bright orange hair, long and straightened, and her caramel eyes are as beautiful as the ones in his memory. Tsuna's chest hurts when he meets her again, after five long years.

"You," his brown eyes widen in both relief and dread. "Kyoko-chan." The name tastes strange on his tongue. Why is he being so familiar with this stranger?

"Kyoko..." he tries again. "S-Sasagawa Kyoko."

"_K-Kyoko-chan," he stutters, despite the number of times he had rehearsed this. "I..."_

"_Tsuna-kun?"_

_She smiles her angelic smile, but it is laced with bitterness, and Tsuna cannot take it. He feels dread pumping into his heart and glances away. "I...um..."_

_He has chosen the wrong moment to tell her that he loves her. Again._

"_Thanks for coming, though. I'm going to visit my brother's grave today. Will you accompany me, Tsuna-kun?"_

_He imagines the seven, cold gravestones in the centre of a clearing, each one more painful to view than the last: Rokudo Mukuro, Chrome Dokuro, Sasagawa Ryohei, Hibari Kyouya, Lambo, Yamamoto Takeshi, and Gokudera Hayato. He imagines the smell of tears and fresh lilies in the air, and hears the cries of his Family mourning their deceased leaders. He hears the dead wailing "Why? Why didn't you die with us?"_

_Tsuna clutches his head, willing the thoughts to escape his mind. "I'm sorry, Kyoko-chan," he says at last. "I have to attend a meeting."_

_It takes one look at her face to realize that she has been expecting this answer all along. _

"Please wait, Kyoko-chan! I didn't see you or Hana-chan earlier. How long has it been, five years?"

Why is he still clinging to someone of his past? The orange-haired girl doesn't stop, ignoring his calls. Tsuna runs, panting lightly as he follows her.

"Kyoko-chan, I've really missed you. How are things going?"

"_You're a monster_. Don't come near me."

"What?" Tsuna reaches out and his brown eyes flash with dejection when she flinches away. He sees her eyes, red and swollen. It hits him then, the horrifying realisation that Kyoko still weeps for her brother after all those years.

"Hana-chan is in Italy, visiting my brother's grave. He died protecting Chrome-chan under your orders."

Guilt pierces him like an arrow. Wounded, he has no reason to continue pursuing her, yet he still follows her through the once-familiar maze of stairs and corridors of Namimori Middle School. "Please, Kyoko-chan."

"Don't call me that." Her voice is soft and angelic, leaving Tsuna wondering how such a kind voice could be so hurtful, so heart-wrenching.

"I'm sorry. _I'm sorry_. How many more times do I need to apologise?"

The woman stops, but does not turn around.

Tsuna takes a deep breath and steps forward. "Kyoko-chan...look, I'm sorry...for everything."

"_We believed in you, Tsunayoshi. That's all there is to say."_ He had betrayed Dino's trust.

"_We'll watch the fireworks together again, right Juudaime?" _He had neglected Gokudera.

"_You will always have us by your side, Tsuna." _He had sent Yamamoto to his death.

"_Those lives, make them count. Don't let them die in vain." _He had broken his promise to Hibari.

"_You're just another one of those mafia monsters, Tsunayoshi-kun." _He had disappointed Mukuro.

Kyoko continues walking, away from the broken man who had confessed to her ten years ago. The last memory the tall brunet has of his Family is her long orange hair swaying from side to side, as her figure slowly disappears from view.

He cannot bring himself to ask why she never forgave him.

_It's because sorry isn't enough, _the wind answers. _Sorry isn't enough..._

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**I hope you enjoyed this! And have a Happy New Year! **

**-MJR**


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